Jersey
Okay so I haven't been keeping up with my blog recently. I do have a good excuse though... I was writing a letter to the NJ Department of Transportation. Here is an excerpt:
Dear Sir/Madam/Sadistic Traffic Engineer,
I have recently sampled your artistic approach to traffic engineering. I must say that I am impressed with the attention to detail that is paid to creating the one sign that serves to inform me of which highway I am on. I also enjoyed the choice of placing that one sign behind the only tree visible for 300 miles.
When I was becoming weary of using smokestacks as landmarks on a flat endless highway, you chose to dazzle me with a bending of the space time-continuum into a traffic circle. It seems everytime I enter one of these circles, I am able to squeeze my car between four careening eighteen-wheel mack trucks that cozy up next me. Additionally, I am overjoyed to find myself heading in a random direction after the thrill of escaping the vortex.
I also love the notion of literally making me go through loops to make ever left turn. It really serves to indicate the essence of your artistry when I make a Jug-handle turn and then another, and another and find myself spinning into the traffic circle anew.
After much fun, I am amazed at how small you were able to make the sign for the Garden State Parkway, and even more amazed at how close to the exit you have placed the arrow! Definitely a marvel of modern technology!
Finally, once I have demonstrated the acceleration of my vehicle in an attempt to avoid six existing and then disappearing lanes, I am awed by your ability to force me to take a left lane exit that appears magically before me.
I truely would like to thank you for your designs as they provide colourful utterances by fellow motorists whom I cut off in my attempt to thwart my demise.
Yours Truly,
Exhilarted Garden State Parkway Patron
Grr...of the Day
So after months of suggesting that NJ bulldoze their entire traffic design , I was granted my wish. The only connecting route between my customer and the office had been overtaken by construction vehicles that had stripped off the pavement in 7 of the 8 lanes. The eighth lane of course led to a jug-handle that sent me back where I came from.
Dear Sir/Madam/Sadistic Traffic Engineer,
I have recently sampled your artistic approach to traffic engineering. I must say that I am impressed with the attention to detail that is paid to creating the one sign that serves to inform me of which highway I am on. I also enjoyed the choice of placing that one sign behind the only tree visible for 300 miles.
When I was becoming weary of using smokestacks as landmarks on a flat endless highway, you chose to dazzle me with a bending of the space time-continuum into a traffic circle. It seems everytime I enter one of these circles, I am able to squeeze my car between four careening eighteen-wheel mack trucks that cozy up next me. Additionally, I am overjoyed to find myself heading in a random direction after the thrill of escaping the vortex.
I also love the notion of literally making me go through loops to make ever left turn. It really serves to indicate the essence of your artistry when I make a Jug-handle turn and then another, and another and find myself spinning into the traffic circle anew.
After much fun, I am amazed at how small you were able to make the sign for the Garden State Parkway, and even more amazed at how close to the exit you have placed the arrow! Definitely a marvel of modern technology!
Finally, once I have demonstrated the acceleration of my vehicle in an attempt to avoid six existing and then disappearing lanes, I am awed by your ability to force me to take a left lane exit that appears magically before me.
I truely would like to thank you for your designs as they provide colourful utterances by fellow motorists whom I cut off in my attempt to thwart my demise.
Yours Truly,
Exhilarted Garden State Parkway Patron
Grr...of the Day
So after months of suggesting that NJ bulldoze their entire traffic design , I was granted my wish. The only connecting route between my customer and the office had been overtaken by construction vehicles that had stripped off the pavement in 7 of the 8 lanes. The eighth lane of course led to a jug-handle that sent me back where I came from.
posted by Megalomaniac at 6:59 PM
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