Civilized Living

Outsiders often consider New York to be this glamourous hub of extravagant living where opportunity rockets as high as the buildings. Unfortunately, those who live in New York, know that this mistake quickly fades and the "I love NY" fades to the "This too is Ghetto". Walking to the subway station you see that the tracks have not been repaired since possibly the Confederate days. In fact, in some places in Brooklyn, if you look closely, the tracks almost resemble the bones of wary travelers with the common misconception: "Oh no Brooklyn has changed, it's nice now".

Outsiders also often seem to think that New York is a place where if you have money you can live a comfortably and make people do anything for you. I assure you this is not true. You could throw millions of Dead Presidents in the air and I'm sure the cabbies would still ignore you. When you do flag one down they have restrictions for you - if you don't like them smoking in the cab - you have the option to complain. They have a non-smoking section in the trunk. Also there is no concept of Quality of Service. Time Warner will usually tell you that there are frequent cable outages and there is no reimbursement. If you are upset with something, you are welcome to wait for the one operating manager that services 18 million people.

After realizing that seething with rage is futile because then you look like a local lunatic, there is only one way to maintain civilized living. Anticipate risk. A week ago I received a note in the mail saying that my electric and gas services were being used illegally. When I called in, I found that it is apparently my invisible neighbour that the mail was addressed. Imagine my surprise when my landlord informed me that I should ignore the love-making sounds that come from next door because no one actually lives there. Clearly someone is there. So to anticipate risk I bought renters apartment insurance. I also called the Utilities company (Con Edison - the emphasis on CON) and pre-threatened to sue in case they shut my power off.


Grr of the Day...

I bought a device a few months back and mailed in the rebate and then A FEW DAYS LATER registered the rebate online. Since I have yet to see the rebate, I decided to call the company and complain. The clerk told me that apparently USPS had delivered my mail-in-rebate to them before I had registered it online. Thus they had no record of my purchase and pitched the mail I sent into the trash. I informed them that I was not responsible for predicting that the US Postal Service would be so efficient that they managed to get mail there before it was intended. They informed me that perhaps I should get a faster internet connection. Touché.

Distant drums

Distant drums. I often add that to my instant messaging nicknames, partially to intrigue those on my list and partially because I believe it is an adequate metaphor. To me it evokes a connotation of a soldier who suddenly realizes he is being followed by some determined force - that force being fate, luck, competition or whatever entity has been given the privilege of toying with my life.

I seem to have established a way of dealing with a major disruption. Life is kind of like a malicious little brat who picks up ants and throws them into to the toilet just to see what they will do*. Initially, the ant panics and attempts to swim to the side of the bowl, then regains its composure swims to side of the bowl, climbs to the top and stares menacingly at the brat. After a major disruption such as moving to NYC and starting a new job. Initially, I panicked. I attempted to trash about and was at the mercy of the waves. Then I developed a goal, get to the side of the toilet bowl. To me that goal was to establish my life here - establish routines and order. Where is the nearest Costco - that was an important question. After that I began to optimize the routines and order - How do I avoid the Costco Fiasco (see previous posts). Now I am the point where I am up on top of the toilet bowl and starting to want self-actualization. How do I from this vantage point be useful? I have been here before - but some stoopid brat has always picked me up and threw me in the toilet bowl. Now is when I combine my two metaphors and lose all of my tiny audience. Here is where I have heard the distant drums before. If the brat is listening - I would rather actually try to achieve self-actualization before the drums get louder. Lest they be the water coming to flush my ant-like existence away.

* Don't ask me why all my analogies and posts recently are about bugs

Grr of The Day...

Okay so I bought this Multi-function printer by Brother. I was tired of people asking me to fax stuff to them and thinking who the hell still uses fax. This multi-function printer apparently prints, faxes, copies and scans - wonderful, I thought - this will serve me well. To my complete unsurprise, it is horribly complicated - even for a Microsoft Consultant. Apparently, in order to scan from the network interface you must install the correct sequence of software. If you install the software in the incorrect sequence, the elitist Printer will shun your documents for life. I apparently failed to install the obscure BRAdmin component not included with the CD but found buried in the depths of the Brother Japan support website. Now I have some mess of software and I cannot get the machine to fax, print, copy or scan. If I set it to copy, it will jam in such a way as to tear the paper fed in. My multifunction printer has only one function: shredding. Forgive the pun but...Oh Brother!